Opinion Not Needed!

As mother, sometimes it is soo frustrating!! People want to butt in and give opinions about this or that when they just have no clue! You know those people I am talking about. Friendly advice is one thing, don’t get me wrong. I am all for hearing what has worked for others. You just never know after all, it could work for that cough or cold.

What I am talking about is things such as immunizations (yes, I immunize my kids), or ADHD and medication. I remember clearly the day my eldest was diagnosed with ADD. I was dead set against medicating my child. Why? Simple. I had heard so many, mainly women, talk bad about. And of course, all the suggestions followed. Don’t feed him this, avoid that, don’t give him red stuff. I got all into. Never once did I stop and research for myself or even come up with my own thoughts. Even asking a simple question, these ladies were quick to jump and make me feel awful for even considering the thought of placing my child on any kinds of medications for this disorder.

After a year of ups and downs, and the poor teacher trying desperately to try alternatives, I sought my doctor’s advice, again. She gave it to me straight. Just try the meds. See how they are. She went over my concerns and helped me research the info. I was amazed at what I found. I of course, hid the fact that I gave in (how I felt) to medicating my son. After about a month, I could not believe the difference. His grades shot up! The teacher was ever so grateful as well.

My lesson was learned! When my second son was diagnosed with ADHD, I did not hesitate to first, ensure this was the proper diagnoses, second, medicate him. I did my homework this time. I also learned, opinions are not needed and I am my child’s parent, no one else. That info those parents gave me, weren’t even correct. They had no merit, no clue, and they aren’t educated, experts in that field. There was nothing wrong with getting help for my child when he really and truly needed it. I wasn’t simply handing my child a pill cause I couldn’t handle him, I was giving him a chance to be able to focus his brain and focus his body.

Sometimes, we need to say, YOU’RE OPINION IS NOT NEEDED! Never let anyone make you feel bad for doing what you feel is best for your child or family. Only you know what is best. Others are only looking in from the outside. And yes, this even goes for family!

Until next time…. Have a great day!

10 years

In light of my near birthday, 30^th to be exact, I began to think of my last ten years. Wow, a lot has happened in just 10 years. I remember sitting at 19 thinking about turning 20 for one. My thoughts were completely different as you can imagine. Physically, besides being pounds heavier, I don’t look much different, but my outlook on life has taken a huge turn in a different direction. And of course, I am not the same individual that I was all those years ago.

At 20, I was a mommy to my wonderful son Darren. I had faced being a single momma, on my own with no family and in a town with complete strangers. Retreating home was just not an option. Who would’ve ever thought that that decision would shape my personality for the rest of my life up to this point?

I met a man who I thought would be the my soul mate, married and had two more boys, Wyatt and Noah. Unfortunately we separated more times than we stayed together and divorced. Once again, a single momma, this time of 3 boys! I held a career in which I went very far in and choose to back down on, thanks to a man. (Yes, the one I divorced) I have moved, I have moved back. I have met many great and wonderful people who have helped me grow. I also have met many who weren’t so great and they too have helped me grow and learn.

I also met my current husband, who gave me another son, my stepson, Andrew. Neither of us were expecting or looking to find anyone and there we were. A year later, we wed and combined homes. Took me a bit to get use to having an a forth kiddo in the mix, but in time, I figured it out.

Now, as I approach my big 3 0 birthday, I look back over the years and smile. Even those not so good moments have something to learn from. Even those tears I shed were worth this moment. There were mountains to climb, but smooth roads too. I am thankful for that road, or I like to say hiking trail, in my life. And, I look forward to 10 more years to look back on. 10 more wonderful years of memories!

Here’s to the future and here’s to a great day!

How do you do it???

I am often asked, “HOW DO YOU DO IT WITH FOUR BOYS???” Some days I just laugh and wonder myself. Other days I contribute my ability to “DO IT” with my ability to multi-task and my schedule. I guess in all honesty I just never realized what all I really did till I began to take note of my daily activities and until I began school.

Taking on the added task of school with all elementary age children, has definitely taught me a few things or two about “HOW TO DO IT WITH FOUR BOYS!” As a result, I am often asked to share with fellow classmates my secrets in being a full time mom and student. Many speculate assuming that my husband must pick up the slack in helping out. Unfortunately that is not the case in this home. He works in the wonderful (sarcasm here) world of the oilfield and is out two weeks and home one week (normally). So in many cases I am a part time single parent, if that makes sense.

So what is it that I do? Simple! Organization, time management, prioritizing, and of course, plenty of patience! No secret here. Organizing my day and my life has always been key. This insures I get things done! Time management… enough said! There are some great apps on the Android phones (not sure about IPhones sorry) to help with this or a simple calendar. Dry erase boards work great too! Prioritizing, this is a huge one! How important is this or that, compared to this or that? I am constantly asking myself this all the time! And lastly, patience. I often think that I am lacking in this department, just to be told I am the most patient person someone has known. Still not buying that, but nevertheless, stepping back, slowing down, and being patient, helps tremendously.

Really, most know all of this, but I am hoping that those who ask me all the time or make the comment “I just don’t know how you do it with four boys.” will see and read this. It’s really not hard, and quite frankly I do not have much choice (joking).

Being a mom, that is me. Chaos, that is my life. I honestly could not imagine it any other way and probably wouldn’t want it any other way!

Until next time, have a great day!

If She Ain’t Happy Ain’t No Body Happy….

How many times have we heard this saying? I heard this a lot growing up! In a way, this is very true. The woman in the household controls the mood in the home. I think at times we don’t even realize this. What control us women really have in our homes!

There’s another saying … Happy Wife, Happy Life! I have this sign hanging in my home, right by my door. And this is very true as well. Just ask my husband at my times. See why I say women really do control the mood of their home?

This brings me to my next point. It is important as moms, wives, that we watch what we do, say, how we act and most important, that we take time for us! Time for me?? Did I really just say that?

Yes I most certainly did! And, I mean it! TIME! Ladies, it is important. If you remain tense and stressed you become in a bad mood. Then what happens? It’s a chain reaction. You become easily agitated, and then you begin taking it out on your spouse who becomes upset with you. Fight time! Who becomes affected? Kids! They become irritable. It can affect their sleep, affecting them in their school work, behavior, etc. Not only that, but your mood carries on to your work, or your hubby, who became in a bad mood, carries on to his work. See where I am going?

What are some other issues that can affect you not taking time for you? Stress is harmful to you period! It affects your health ladies. Can cause your blood pressure to rise, weight gain, headaches, and other physical problems.

Taking time for you doesn’t mean a vacation every month either. Just a few minutes a day. Here are some ideas for you to use.

1.    Schedule a lunch date with a good friend once a week at your favorite place. A good adult conversation always helps.

2.    A hot bath at night with candles and ambient music. You can do this after the kids are in bed. Tell your spouse this is me time. Explain that this is important and why. Some aromatherapy (can purchase at Walmart or Target) in your tub works wonders.

3.    Going for a walk in the evenings, not only is this healthy for you, but relaxing.

4.    Going for a swim. If you are into swimming. Again, healthy.

5.    Reading a good book. Nothing like getting lost in a good book.

6.    Watching a good chick flick or whatever movie is your favorite all time movie. Send the hubby and the kids to the park or wherever for some bonding time.

Whatever it is you do, do it for you! This does not include cleaning ladies! Just relax and breath.

Hope everyone has a great day and until next time, enjoy!

Success

A while back, I posted a note on my FB about success. I had been going through some photos that were taking in my school days. That brought back so many memories, good and bad ones. I laughed, I frowned. I missed those days, and then I didn't so much. You know how that goes. Then I came across a photo with a young man. I remembered exactly why we were in that photo together. "Most likely to succeed!" My first thought? Wow, were they wrong!!! I knew he hadn't done much with his life, nor had I. Then I sat there. I thought about all those that I still were in contact with from those days and wondered about the others. What had we done with our lives? Were we all happy doing what we were doing?

What is the true meaning of success? Well the definition of the word, or the one that I am putting on here (there are many) is: something that turns out as planned or intended. Of course it also means someone who is wealthy, etc. So, I really began to think about this.

When I was a teenager, I grew up thinking I would do this or that. I truly believed I had it all planned out. But what did I know about life or what was in store for me? Nothing! None of did! You cannot plan for everything. Divorce, kids, etc. And let's face it, we make mistakes. Those can alter our lives too.

Did I become some multi-millionaire? No! Did I have some awe inspiring career? No! Do I live in some huge mansion on a hill? No! Am I famous? No and I have no desire to be!

What I do have though, is my life! Nothing perfect, nothing grand. It'll never have a book written about it or a movie. But success is not measured in riches or things that can be seen with the eyes. It is measured in what you leave behind when you are gone. I have four wonderful boys who make me proud each day. In a world of parents that are leaving their children or losing their children, I still have mine, and raise them to the best of my abilities.

Success is about falling down over and over, and getting right back up and saying "Bring it on!". It's about never giving up even when no one else believes you can. It's about taking chances and living. It's about being YOU and loving it!

So, I leave you this - "You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down" ~ Charlie Chaplin

Success is in your hands! Nothing beats a failure but a try!

Till next time.... have a great one!

Bully. Bullying.

We grew up with them. We have all dealt with them at some point in our lives. And now, our children face them. So what is different?  Parents, it’s our world! The whole thing is different! Society as a whole has changed. Mindsets, the way people act, the way people care, speak, you name it. And guess what? Kids, they see it all and repeat it all.

Bullying is such a growing problem. Not gradually either. It’s a major issue. I have heard repeatedly, and yes I was guilty of this at one point, tell your kids to suck it up and deal with it. Well, wrong! Parents, it’s time to step up and listen! There is really a problem here. I am not speaking from an inexperienced view either. Two of my children, my 7 year old and my 11 year old, were both bullied physically and verbally. We are now dealing with this with my 10 year old as well.

So at what point do you step in or do you stay on the sidelines and allow your child to deal with it? Well, for starters, teach your children it is OKAY to tell an adult. So many times we tell our children “Stop tattling”. Yes, I am guilty once again. We instill this in our children, don’t tattle, but only when it is serious. Then they carry that on to school. See the confusion here? Don’t worry; I had to retrain myself too! Let them know that those teachers, coaches, secretaries, counselors, and even cafeteria workers are there not only to teach them, work there, or what have you, but to protect them and guide them. They need to understand that they can trust them.

Now, if your child has come to you repeatedly, and they do not have to be crying, and tells you the same issue over and over, then just maybe it is an issue.  And as a parent, sometimes you have to be a thorn in the schools side and make your name known as a parent that will not allow your child to be bullied to get the point across. I know this personally. I had to do this. Almost every day for four weeks straight, I was either on a phone or at their desk.

Let me tell you though, that taught my kids to stand up for themselves. It taught them that it was okay to speak up and out. It was okay not to allow someone to be hateful or hurtful. I am not saying that as parents we can fight their every battle, but there comes a time when these kids are not fighting a fair battle and they need the help of others. Be it an older sibling, teacher, or parent.

Kids are much crueler then they use to be. You have physical bullying, cyber bullying, face to face bullying, emotional bullying, pack bullying, and individual bullying. It really is not the same as what we faced back in the day. Even just a few years ago. It’s a wakeup call to all the parents out there. It is time to start listening, time to pay attention!

Till next time, have a great day!

Introduction

Hello to all who choose to read this! I am Melissa, full time mom and full time student for the time being. I have four crazy, energetic boys. They keep me more then busy at times. As I also just mentioned, I am a full time medical student. I am currently going for my MA (medical assistant). I will continue on to nursing, then Physician's Assistant.

After reading many blogs, and being told I too should blog, I decided, why not! So, here I am! I have officially joined the blogging world! Hoping to give some good advice, some thoughts, or what have you on balancing everyday life as a mother of four and school and of course, in the future, a career. I know that many struggle to this, especially these days. I hear this so often just in my class. The comment "How do you do it?", is very common amongst my peers. And how do I answer that? Well, I am hoping to come up with some solid answer one day. Something short and sweet. Until then, I will just simply blog away with tips and ideas that maybe, if anyone is reading, will help someone out.

I hope that everyone out there is having a fantastic Friday and will enjoy the weekend as well. Until my next post, take care!