Thursday, May 17, 2012


Lessons we learn throughout our lives. Whether they are good or bad.  As parents we often do not realize that we are teaching our children lessons every day without setting out to do so. Have you ever thought about that?

Growing up, and as you figured from my last post, my bio mother was not the best positive teacher in life. That being said though, I did learn a lot from that woman. Lessons I am very much thankful for each and every day. So, in a way, I am indebted to her for some of the way I turned out. Much of the positives. How is it that a mother who is not by state standards a “fit” mother capable of teaching a child how to become a good mother and adult? Let me explain.

Lessons that I learned from her early on. Smoking was disgusting! It made your house smell horrible! (You know what I mean by this. That friend or relative that smokes and you go to their home and take a big ole whiff! YUCK!) Not only that, it was a horrible waste of money. We never had money, but she always had money for those things. I never formed that habit thankfully! That was enough for me! Alcohol and drugs was another biggie! Saw enough with her to know, it can ruin your life. It can also make you act in ways you would never normally act. Or at least enhance those actions in a negative way. I do occasionally drink, but I know when to say enough. Again though, what a waste to go out all the time!

These bring me to my next lesson. Your kids come first! Habits should never come before bills or things such as food or clothing. Their needs must be met before those habits of yours. Taking from your kids to meet your needs (pawning their stuff like game systems, laptops etc.) due to your inability to budget or because of your habits, is just plain bad parenting skills all around. Yes, my mother did this all the time!

These are just some of my big lessons that I had learned by 7, which a 7 year old should have no clue about. This is what I mean by we as parents teach our children lessons every day without even realizing that we are doing so. Every day we are placing footprints in life for them to follow in. Where will your footprints lead your children? Will it lead them to being successful, independent adults or failures? Will you teach them to follow through on their goals and dreams or fall short and give up?

Until next time, I hope you have a great day and beware your steps you place in your child’s life!

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Sometimes that special woman in your life, that one that touches your life or became that mentor in your life, isn’t always your natural or bio mother. It can be anyone that you have deemed to take that special place or has impacted your life in a way that just stuck with you. You know what I mean I am sure. Those memories, those sayings that that special lady said that just seems to stay in the back of your mind all these years.

That special lady in my life unfortunately was not my mother. I know this is the case for many. The lady that impacted me so was a very special, petite and spunky, Katrina. From day one there was a special connection we two shared. She seemed to be that light in a very dark time in my life. Not that there weren’t many other very special other ladies. Tera, Kim, Sheila, Priscilla, Rosemary….also very special ladies that were there as well. Katrina though, she stepped up when others maybe didn’t know how, maybe weren’t able to, whatever the case, she was able to reach where other’s weren’t able to.

I grew up in a not so ideal situation. My bio mother, while I believe she did love me, just wasn’t able to be the best mother she could be. She had her addictions and her issues to deal with. As a child though, I did not understand any of this, nor did I even know. All I knew was it was dark! It hurt! Katrina was my light as a teen. She took me in and loved me! She never judged me and never, ever thought for a second that I would turn out like the hand that originally raised me like so many that had praised me and pushed me, did.

She pushed me to become ME! She was hard at times, yes. However, that is what stuck with me the most. And for that, I am truly thankful. She truly showed me what love was and in turn, what it wasn’t. When I made mistakes, she did not condemn me like so many were quick to do. When I cried, she held me. When I was angry, she allowed me to vent. When I was quiet, she let me think. When I was silly, she was silly with me. When I needed a mother, she was that mother. When I needed a friend, she was that best friend.

I will always remember some things she told me. Every day before dropping me off at school, she would tell me “Be beautiful!” It takes a great person to be beautiful. I really understood this as an adult and apply this to my life everyday now. Another thing she told me, “Nothing beats a failure but a try”. This has always stuck in my head. It pushes me when I am afraid to try new things.

Beyond her words, her actions showed me a lot of things that she could have never told me. She was and still is an amazing woman! I am forever thankful for her impact on my life.

Katrina, if you read this, I love you mom! You are an amazing woman! You are truly a beautiful woman! Thank you for giving me a chance when others simply saw her in me and nothing more. I cannot imagine how different my life may have been. Thank you for being my miracle!

Take time today to thank that special lady in your life, whether it is your mother, your step mom, your second mom, that teacher, that mentor. Let them know that they touched your life.

To all the mothers and special women out there who have impacted lives in a positive way, HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!